Two people from California Delta Paranormal came to my house today to see if they could get any readings from the ghost that I had jokingly said inhabited a rocking chair. 

One of them was a rotund man carrying a Jack Skellington courier bag, and he was accompanied by an older red-headed woman. They explained to me their various techniques for finding ghosts. 

First they brought out a milligaus meter, which measures electricity frequencies. The woman placed it on the rocking chair and kept an eye on it while we were talking. Randomly the meter would get a small reading and the woman would proclaim, "We got a hit!" They tried to talk to the ghost, but Spooks didn't feel much like talking. 

The man then pulled out some water-dowsers and asked me "May I use water dowsers in this house?" I think other people consider bent pieces of aluminum to be accursed or something. 

Water-dowsers are insane. They are metal bent at 90 degrees and round with metal spheres on the end of them. They are a little difficult to hold still, as a slight tilt to the left or right will make them move. The man held them and asked the ghost questions. 

"Please cross the dowsers for 'yes' and push them apart for 'no,' " he asked. 

Curious, my sister came in. I suppose she wanted to get involved, so she started to tell them a story about our uncle, Dan, who had died twenty years ago, thinking this would make the haunting story more interesting. I had to pull her aside and tell her that that's not the story with which I was going, and since it took place twenty years ago I can't tell them to these individuals who believe I bought it this year. 

When I came back, our paunchy paraphile asked Ecto-woman if the haunting had anything to do with Dan. He tilted his hands inward (unwittingly, I'm sure) making the dowsers cross for "yes." Sighing inwardly, I told them an altered version of the Dan story that would align with the rocking chair story. Now we are supposedly dealing with the interaction of Dan and the rocking chair ghost. 

They followed the dowsers around a while, going in circles and claiming that "this ghost is such a jokester!" After they were done, they told me a little more about the organization. According to the red-head, spook-hunting is "very scientific; this is science, not some hocus-pocus like Ouiji Boards or anything." I guess she thinks this because there is rather deep theory involved in ghost hoaxes, like the idea that ghosts exist on a different wavelength and expensive equipment is needed to listen to and see this different wavelength while at the same time communicating with it. I guess that means that since there are so many books written on Scientology, that must be real, too. 

They also mentioned that they had gotten hoaxes before, but they were able to determine them by the picture beforehand. I'm not sure what she meant by this, but the woman said "Apple works for us to determine if ghost photos are real." Perhaps she means that there's a program that can verify photos.

So, should I get this organized before I move, it looks like these people will be coming back for a full-scale investigation. After they process the evidence they plan to do a review, to which anyone can come. Apparently once there was a major party during one of these review sessions. Sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Some are concerned that they can sue me. Keep in mind that if they're not paying me, there's really no way that they can even claim, let alone prove, false advertising. I am, however, rather hoping that they don't find this blog, as it would make them very sadface.

I'll update this with part 3 if I can organize it before moving.

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